| "To Ork or Not to Ork" | |
|---|---|
| Season 1, Episode #3 (#3) in series (26 episodes) | |
 | |
| "The Mork & Mindy/Laverne & Shirley/Fonz Hour" episode | |
| Guest Star(s): | Ralph James Shavar Ross Mark L. Taylor Frank Welker |
| Network: | ABC-TV |
| Production code: | 1x3 |
| Writer(s) | |
| Director | |
| Original airdate | October 2, 1982 |
IMDB 
|
To Ork or Not to Ork |
| Episode chronology | |
| ← Previous | Next → |
| "The Greatest Shmo on Earth" | "Orkin Without a Cause" |
| List of Mork & Mindy seasons/episodes | |
To Ork or Not to Ork was a Mork and Mindy themed episode from ABC-TV's The Mork & Mindy/Laverne & Shirley/Fonz Hour cartoon series, also the third episode in the series..
Summary[]
Orson instructs Mork to learn about Love, and the Orkan tumbles for Mindy (literally) hard, only to be heartbroken when he thinks she's in love with Hamilton. Not realizing the pair are rehearsing, have been cast as Romeo & Juliet in the School production of the play, Mork seeks out Eugene's help in winning her back.
Plot[]
In Mount Mount High Library, Mork is attempting to do some math homework, writing on the air with his finger until he runs out of 'Ork Ink'. In trying to get it running again, he splatters the Librarian. Her angry reaction to his actions is interrupted, on Mork's part at least by Orson contacting him. The Librarian is bemused when he shushes her, telling her his boss is trying to talk to him, unable to hear anything herself. Orson instructs Mork to study Earthly 'Love' and report back on it. When he agrees and signs off with his usual referral to Orson's size, the Librarian takes umbrage, thinking he's talking about her.
Mork however, rather expertly charms her when he tells her he needs to check out some books on Love, and believes she looks like an expert on the subject. Flattered, she admits she has had a few flings in her time, and when Mork asks her what Love is like, she recalls her first time. The dizzy sensation she experienced, swooning and falling head over heels. Mork wonders if this is what she means, doing a back flip, kissing her on the cheek and thanking her for the help, heading for class, leaving her doing a flip of her own and blushing in his wake.
In the corridors Mindy is excited, telling her friend Linda that she's managed to land the lead role of Juliet in the school's production of Romeo & Juliet. Congratulating her, when Linda wonders who is going to be her leading man, the two girls are interrupted by the smug pronouncement of Hamilton, arriving with his friend Chip, declaring himself to be the one and only Romeo at Mount Mount. Mindy is, as ever, unimpressed and in fact declares him a Ham to his face, wondering how he managed to land the lead role when he flunked Drama class three times? Sliding his arm around her he asserts it was because he was 'inspired'. Extricating herself from him, she tells him she has to go start rehearsing for the play. When Chip observes that Hamilton has struck out with Mindy again, the two boys are interrupted by the sound of Mork running up the corridor after Mindy, calling her name. The mound of books in his arms obscures the Orkan's vision and he doesn't see the janitor mopping the floors. Skidding, Mork loses his balance flies up in the air, and lands in Mindy's arms, his books showering around them.
Checking to see if he's okay, a dazed Mork gazes up at her and declares it exactly like the 'book lady' said. He feels a dizzy sensation, he just fell head over heels and concludes he has to be in love! Laughing, Mindy lets him go, and tells him to hurry up or they'll both be late for class. Watching on, Hamilton tells Chip there is no way he is going to be upstaged by that 'twerpy nerd' Mork. And that when he gets the part of Romeo things are going to be different. Chip however, reminds him he can't act his way out of a paper bag. But Hamilton tells Chip he has a plan that can't miss, and heads them for the continuing auditions for Romeo & Juliet.
Later, in the Mount Mount auditorium, Mindy is helping out the drama teacher in trying out the prospective Romeos on stage. Charlie heading off, the teacher calls on Hamilton without much enthusiasm. Hamilton signals to Chip backstage, and Chip puts the needle to a professional recording of the play, Hamilton declaiming to the rich tones coming from it, flabbergasting Mindy, the drama teacher and the onlooking Linda. Stunned, the drama teacher feels he has to have been practicing all year to make that turn around, and he has the part for sure. Backstage, Mork startles Chip asking if he's seen Mindy. Flustered, Chip directs him to the stage telling him she's there with Hamilton. On walking over to the wings, Mork looks out to see Mindy and Hamilton in the midst of the Balcony Scene from the play. Misinterpreting what's going on, a grief stricken Mork is devastated thinking Mindy is in love with Hamilton.
Dejected, walking home with Doing, Mork is caught up to by Eugene. On being asked whats up, Mork tells Eugene he's sad. That Mindy's fallen head over heels for Hamilton. Eugene, tells him immediately that what Mork needs is lessons from him on how to win Mindy back from that creep. Getting him and Doing on his skateboard, he takes Mork to the park to find some girls for Mork to hone his technique on. Sitting on a bench in the park, Eugene confident in his own 'pro' skills with the ladies, tells Mork to study the girls and tells him that he first thing he has to learn is how to pick up a girl. Mork eager to learn, replies that's easy, then naturally takes this literally, and rushes over to hoist a passing girl over his shoulder fireman style. Not impressing her.
Walking on through the park, after strike one, Eugene informs Mork that what girls like is a guy who is real cool. Like him. Demonstrating, Eugene struts his stuff, then spots a girl that Mork can try his out on. He tells Mork to act macho and sweet talk her with his charm. Doing his, unique, version of Eugene's strut, he sidles up the girl calling her 'dumpy dumpling' and tells her she's really hot 'stuffing'. Not appreciating being called dumpy, she tells him off and hits him with her handbag. But Mork doesn't give up, intent on making an impression and catches up to her, asking if she likes flowers? When she says of course he snaps his fingers and generates a bunch of snap dragons. Small, and literal, that breathe fire on the girl, leaving her scorched, ruining her perm. And earning him another smack with her handbag. Eugene pulls him away before Mork ends himself up in the hospital, and tells him their last hope is TV. He is going to take him to his house and they are going to watch every Romantic Movie until Mork learns how the great Movie lovers woo their ladies.
A week later, a jubilant Eugene emerges from his house declaring that Mork has it down pat, a full week of watching TV has done the trick. A wall eyed Mork emerges, telling him to come on, he can't wait to get to Mindy's to try his new technique. However, at Mindy's Hamilton is already there, running lines with her in the front room. And blowing them. Confused, given his on stage actions, Mindy wants to know what's gotten in to him? Covering, Hamilton pulls the drapes half closed in the action of sliding his arm around her on the couch, claiming he just needs a romantic atmosphere. Removing his arm from around her, she tells him firmly that is not part of the script. Behind them, peaking through the partially open, undraped section of the window, Mork and Eugene watch and listen. Eugene reminds Mork what he's learned. To be macho like John Wayne, cool like the Fonz, and tough like James Cagney. Confident, Mork assures him he knows the action faction, and he does have it down pat.
As Hamilton continues to relentlessly hit on Mindy, wanting to get her to just practice the kissing, there's a hammering at the door. Freaking out, thinking it's Mindy's dad, Hamilton drops his script and tries to make a run for it, only to be flattened by the door flying open and a stetson wearing Mork entering. In full John Wayne flow, telling Mindy he's come to lasso her heart, grabbing hold of her and dipping her low. When she tells him to stop fooling around, Mork does a quick hair change to a 50s quiff, and to a Fonz persona replying that he never fools around, moving Mindy in a plethora of a 50s dance style moves, suggesting they shift into overdrive and go for a little spin, scooping her into his arms. Bemused, she demands he put her down, Hamilton taking his shot and demanding Mork listen to her. Something Mork does not like. Switching to Cagney mode, he calls Hamilton a 'Dirty Crimlock'. and accuses him of stealing his girlfriend from him, his anger intimidating Hamilton until Mindy puts a stop to it, telling him she and Hamilton have to rehearse their love scene. Which takes the wind right out of Mork's sails. And when Hamilton tells him threes a crowd, Mork dejectedly makes his way back to his attic room.
Alone as night falls, Mork has begun to pack, intending to leave, morosely telling Doing how he's going to miss his Mindy. As he continues to pack, Eugene arrives wanting to know what he's doing. Mork says he's hitting the road. That it'll be touch out there without his Mindy, and...rather unconvincingly, that he can take it. Something underlined when the phone rings, and he jumps up excited in the hope that it's Mindy phoning him. Opening the attic door he hears Fred on the phone, telling whoever it is that Mindy and Hamilton are perfect together, and that the Engagement is that night at the school auditorium. Listening in as well, Eugene is appalled, thinking Mindy is going to marry 'that jerk'. Closing the door Eugene insists that in the name of True Love, Mork has to win back Mindy. Agreeing, Mork, Eugene and Doing head for the school.
As they arrive at the Auditorium, Mindy is on stage in costume in full flow as Juliet on the Balcony, awaiting the arrival of Hamilton's Romeo who signals again to Chip to play the recording from Props Bay. As Mork and Eugene get backstage they see Hamilton start to make the climb to Mindy in full declaration of his love, leaving Mork thinking he's too late. Eugene however insists there's still time for a dramatic rescue of the situation, and Mindy, like Tarzan in one of the movies they watched. Encouraged Mork heads out and finds what looks a loose rope from part of the scenery, and chooses to use it ala one of Tarzan's vines. In fact it's the wire from the record player Chip is using, which Mork winds up and unplugs, out of sight of Chip. Chip startled when the player is suddenly yanked away. On stage, Hamilton's 'voice' starts to slur and dies, alarming Mindy.
Mork, using the player like an anchor, swings it up into the rafters, where it catches, providing him with a secure hold, and with a full throated Tarzan style cry, he swings out across the stage. As Hamilton struggles with his next line, Mork swings past him and drops right onto the balcony between them. Going full iambic pentameter, Mork wonders how to save her from Hamilton, a fate worse than death. And in dramatically doing so knocks Hamilton off the ladder, sending him crashing into the scenery, making the audience laugh.
Back on the balcony Mork begs and pleads with Mindy not to marry Hamilton. Stunned, she insists to Mork that she's not in love with Hamilton, they're just acting, like in the movies. Overjoyed, Mork tells her that means he can stay in the attic and be her favorite Orkan. Laughing she happily agrees, leaving Mork jumping for joy with enthusiasm, and quaking the balcony set violently, sending them both tumbling onto the branch of one of the fake trees on set. Sitting in the tree with her, Mork takes her hand and tells her she's out of this world, Mindy reciprocating the feeling as the curtain comes down on them, the audience cheering.
Back in the attic the next day, in his suit, Mork gives his report to Orson on Love. It's something, he says, that deeply colors Earthlings feelings. Making them, green with envy, red with rage, and when they're hurt they get the blues. Orson remarking that this Love thing sounds like Ork Fever, and advises him to get plenty of sleep or he might catch it.
Trivia[]
Orkan Facts[]
- Nel and Nelfriend are the Orkan words for Girl and Girlfriend.
General[]
- "To Ork or Not to Ork" is a play on "To be or not to be...," the beginning of a soliloquy from Shakespeare's Hamlet.
- Mindy's High School friend Linda, appears to be yet another reference to Pam Dawber's real High School friend Linda Burchi (Woods), who was referenced twice in the main show itself (In Mork We Trust / Drive, She Said)
- Mork wonders how to save Mindy from Hamilton a fate he feels is worse than The Gorgles, referencing the process of death from the main show (Mork Runs Down)
Pop Culture[]
- Mork imitates John Wayne, Henry Winkler (The Fonz) and Jimmy Cagney.
- In Cagney mode, Mork calls Hamilton a 'Dirty Crimlock' a reference to Cagney's classic 'Dirty Rat', mixed in with the show's Crimlock reference meaning Idiot/Jerk in Orkan.
- Mork also references Cagney's 'Top Of The World Ma!" as he does several times in the actual show.
- Eugene encourages Mork to rescue Mindy from Hamilton ala Tarzan in one of the romantic movies they watched. He also gives the classic Weissmuller Tarzan cry as he swings out to Mindy.
- Mork again refers to Eugene as his little Munchkin, in another Wizard of Oz reference.
- Mork mentions John Travolta and the movie Saturday Night Pneumonia, a reference to Saturday Night Fever.
- Mork tells Mindy that he can stay and be her Favorite Orkan, a reference to My Favorite Orkan, the Happy Days show (and title pun on My Favorite Martian, the 60s show starring Ray Walston) that introduced Mork.
Gallery[]
Characters[]
- Robin Williams as Mork
- Pam Dawber as Mindy McConnell
- Ralph James as Orson
- Shavar Ross as Eugene
- Mark L. Taylor as Hamilton J. DuPont XXV
- Frank Welker as Doing