|Mork's Best Friend|
|Aired||May 10, 1979|
|Previous||It's a Wonderful Mork|
|Next||Mork in Wonderland, Part 1|
Mork gets a pet caterpillar.
- Robin Williams as Mork
- Pam Dawber as Mindy McConnell
- Tom Poston as Mr. Bickley
- Robert Donner as Exidor
- Ralph James as Orson
- George Pentecost as Mr. Herman
- The same night that ABC originally aired this season finale, NBC broadcast the pilot of Hizzonner opposite it. The show starred David Huddleston as a small-town mayor and costarred Gina Hecht as a secretary in city hall. Hizzonner lasted 7 weeks; Hecht joined the cast of Mork & Mindy the following season.
- Mork: Mindy, guess what followed me home?
Mindy: What followed you home?
Mork: Can I keep it, huh?
Mindy: This is one of those questions I always dread. Alright, what is it?
Mork: It's real cute.
Mork: It's fuzzy.
Mork: It's about this tall.
[Mork clamps his fingers down to an inch]
Mindy: A dog that's been run over by a truck?
Mork: Oh Mindy, that's so sick! Squashed dogs can't follow you home!
- Mork: Look! It's a kittypillar!
Mindy: Oh, that's a caterpillar!
Mork: Not for a few more weeks yet, it hasn't got hair on its chest.
- Mork: I like to call her Bob. See! She looked up when I said her name!
Mindy: Oh, that end isn't her head.
Mork: Really? I thought she was smiling at me.
- Exidor: Mork!
Exidor: In this life, yes!
- Exidor: Mork, I have come here to preach the only true religion!
Mork: What's the only true religion this time?
Exidor: Reincarnation! We have all lived before and we shall all be born again!
Mork: Wow, the ultimate deja vu!
- Mork: You'll enjoy meeting my new friend, Bob.
[Mork shows Exidor his caterpillar]
Exidor: You made friends with a fuzzy Tootsie Roll?
- Exidor: Why, this is no ordinary caterpillar, Mork. This is the reincarnation of Abraham Lincoln!
Mork:How can you tell?
Exidor: Is that the face of someone who would tolerate slavery?
Mork: That's not her face.
Exidor: Really? I thought she was smiling at me!
- Mindy: You know, Mork, between your friends and your pets, I sometimes wonder if you're an advanced alien being or just an intergalactic bozo.
Mork: The answer is...
[Mork makes computerized bleeping sounds]
- Mork: Oh look, Mindy, Bob's hungry. Do we have anything green in the icebox?
Mindy: Last month's cottage cheese.
Mork: Well, leafy green's better than lumpy green, but I'll give it a try!
Mindy: Hey, maybe you could get something from Mr. Bickley.
Mork: No, I've already had my shots.
- Mr. Bickley: You have a bug for a pet?
Mork: Oh, yes. I pulled a thorn out of its paw and the other thirteen legs followed me home.
- Mr. Bickley: Nobody has a bug for a pet!
Mork: Are you kidding? Bob's clean, she's leaf-broken! And she's a skilled mime too! Bob, do your caterpillar walk against the wind!
- Mork: Tomorrow I'm gonna take her to see the movie The Swarm because Bob says she knows one of the stunt-bees personally.
Mindy: Well, you certainly are being nice to her, Mork. I can see why she looks up to you.
Mork: Mindy, Bob looks up to everybody.
- Exidor: Mork! I came over as soon as you called! What's wrong?
Mork: Abraham Lincoln's dead again!
- Mindy: Um, excuse me, Mr. Exidor, but what exactly is it that you do?
Exidor: I'm a spirit migration engineer.
Mindy: You're a grave-robber?
Exiidor: No, that's a body migration engineer.
- Exidor: Bob has been reincarnated as a cow.
Mork: That's wonderful!... That's terrible, he'll be eaten!
Exidor: No, she's safe! She's in India, she's sacred!
- Mr. Herman: Was the deceased a relative of yours?
Mork: No, I only knew her a few days.
Mr. Herman: Oh well, you're very kind to be making arrangements for her everlasting peace.
Mork: Oh, it's the least I could do, we lived together.
Mr. Herman: Oh, I see. Well, not to worry, we here at the Herman Funeral Home, we don't make judgements on our clients' lifestyles. What was her name?
Mr. Herman: I see. And the last name?
Mork: I dunno, last names weren't important to us.
Mr. Herman: I can imagine!
- Mr. Herman: What would you like for an epitaph?
Mork: Well, I could start out with some shrimp cocktail, have some expresso.
Mr. Herman: No, I mean what would you like written on the headstone?
Mork: Oh. "Here lies Bob. She's Dead."
- Mork: It costs money to die?
Mr. Herman: Only if you want to die decently.
Mork: Bob died great! And nothing you can do will make her feel any better!
Mr. Herman: But the point is to make you feel better!
Mork: Well, the only way I'll feel better is if Bob stays with me forever and ever! And that's exactly what I'm gonna do! Keep her with me in my room!
- Mindy: Bob wasn't dead, she was just changing! Caterpillars turn into butterflies.
Mork: Oh, I guess I better set her free. There we go, Bob! Fly, Bob! Be free!
- Mindy: Now I guess you probably believe what Exidor said about reincarnation, right?
Mork: No, I still think Exidor had his head up his foot. But maybe he's right though. Maybe when you die, something beautiful happens.
- Mork: You should have heard the eulogy I did for my caterpillar. Mindy says that when he dies, he'll go to Heaven, and be with all the other bugs and he'll be very happy and everything will be beautiful.
Orson: Tell me, if Heaven is so beautiful, so perfect, so great, how come humans don't want to die?
Mork: Who wants to be with all those bugs?
- Orson: What do you think happens when something dies, Mork?
Mork: I don't know, Sir. All I know is that when my caterpillar became a butterfly and sprouted wings and flew away, it looked kind of like a little angel.