Mork and the Bum Rap was the tenth episode in the third season of Mork & Mindy, also the 61st overall episode in the series. Co-written by Deborah Raznick and John B. Collins, the episode, which was directed by Howard Storm, shot December 18, 1980 and premiered on ABC-TV on January 15, 1981.
To help Mindy raise donations for the Children's Hospital Mork heads to Remo's restaurant for an in person, 'telethon'. Winning over Godfrey, a tattily dressed charmer, who claims to be a professional at 'fundraising', and promises to teach him everything he knows...for a percentage.
Plot[]
In her Apartment, Mindy is sorting through names while sitting on her couch, congratulating her father on the successful benefit concert he gave the night before, for which he's gotten rave reviews. His mood, Mindy notes is buoyant, and why not Fred smiles, one critic calling him 'The Bald Bernstein of Boulder'. and on top of that the concert raised over $30,000 for the new children's hospital. Mindy sighs wishing she was doing that well having promised to raise $1,000 but since deciding to pursue a job over postgrad work (Mork in Never Never Land) it's taking up all her time. Fred suggests she could always loan Mork out to a research laboratory, and gets his daughter's eye roll in return, though she admits she is going to have put a lot of effort into the fundraising over the next few days. Heading to answer a knock at the door she ponders dressing up as a girl scout and going door to door, which worked when she was 12. On opening the door she finds Mork in his nightgown, eyes closed, jogging in place. Amused, Mindy asks him what he's up to and he jumps, startled awake telling her he must've been sleep jogging, and locked himself out. When she asks how he managed that he puts himself out and goes back out again, before entering again to a chorused 'Doorja Vu!" from them both.
On seeing Fred, Mork makes a beeline on him, having also enjoyed the previous nights concert, yelling 'get down Mama!' at opera singer Beverly Sills. Fred gets up go go show off his picture (of the back of his head) in the paper, while Mindy bemoans having to make a lot of phone calls, not having even raised enough money to pay her phone bill. After Fred goes, Mork approaches Mindy wondering why she didn't ask him for money saying she could having anything he owns (bar his lips which are rented), while touched she tells him the money's not for her, but the new children's hospital. Intrigued he asks her if you can get money just by asking for it? Confirming some people will donate money if they feel the cause is worthy enough, quickly divorcing it from bribes on Mork's query, and explaining the concept of Charity as being how people raise money in different ways and give it to people they think are in need. Mork tells her that on Ork asking for money will end you up in an asylum, and loftily she replies that on Earth caring people like to help each other. Mork is however eager to help, but she only wishes he could, how much money could she need he wonders, it's a kid hospital it only has to be about so high, holding his hand up to chest height.
A day or so later, Mork is in Da Vinci's Restaurant in the midst of his "Morkathon for Mindy's Kids" his manic one man show involving imaginary kidnapped kids, midget juggling, and multi-cultural group The Confusions. While Mork has one definite fan, most of those at the tables are either ignoring him or making a hasty exit. Agitated Remo approaches him telling him if he keeps this up Mindy will have to raise funds for him! Dejected Mork turns in his badge of office bow tie, and wanders over to ask if he can mope at the table his one fan was sitting at. The disheveled guy is more than happy for him to join him, telling Mork he certainly has a great approach but needs to learn a lot about fundraising, and professes to be a professional from back East. Mork immediately asks him how he gets money, and he tells him to give him a quarter and he'll show him, then grins telling Mork he's just raised himself 25 cents. Mork's mouth drops, hugely impressed, calling him slicker than a 'Teflon banana peel' Mork asks him eagerly how he gets a job like that, and in return for a percentage of everything he brings in he'll teach him everything he knows. Mork agrees eagerly, and his new mentor introduces himself as Godfrey. Mork says it'll cost 25 cents to find out *his* name, but as Godfrey starts to smile in approval, Mork tells him his name and hands him 25 cents.
A couple of hours later they hit Boulder Bus Station. Godfrey has already shown him the 'fundraising' position and sends Mork out to show him what he's learned. His first attempt with an opening Hare Krisha, Hare Lama, falls on deaf ears...going back to Godfrey he wonders what he did wrong, and Godfrey tells him the game is a rat race, he's really got to give a performance. To demonstrate he goes out and stops a passing lady and gives a sob story about his son, breaking down as he talks to them till the uncomfortable traveler hands over some of her money. Moved to tears by his performance, Mork comes to him and offers him everything *he* has and is awed when Godfrey tells him it was a performance. Godfrey advises him that perhaps the flattery approach might suit Mork better. Mork gives it a shot walking up to beautiful young blonde and taking on the French persona of Mork Jourdan, flatters her massively saying she's so sweet he might bake a cake in her name, flirting with her as she hands him something and heads away. Godfrey asking him what he got, he tells him 'her phone number', which Godfrey promptly appropriates. Finally Godfrey decides the best thing for Mork is for him to be himself, say nothing, just look pathetic. Mork goes into full Marcel Marceau silent Mime mode, and approaches a Beatnik/Hippy type travel looking parhelic, and hits pay dirt. Proud of him, Godfrey praises him, then takes what he's gotten 'for tuition'. Ecstatic that he's finally gotten admission to the School of Hard Knocks, Mork feels Mindy is going to be so proud of him, and he's going to build that hospital from the ground up.
Back at the Apartment, Mindy has enlisted Jeanie and Glenda Faye to help in stuffing letters for mailing out donation requests, the girls forced to lick all the stamps and envelopes as Mindy apologetically tells them Mork took all their sponges to the river to set them free. While Mindy is fretting over getting to her total, Glenda reassures her telling her she's put so much effort into the drive it's bound to be a success, before casually handing her a large check towards the total that has Jeanie wondering if she might adopt her. As the girls get up to go, Jeanie accompanying Glenda to play racketball, Mindy thanks them for their help and sighs looking back at all she has to do yet, pondering wistfully that there's no rest 'for the perky'. As she starts to lick another stamp, Mork enters behind her and bellows "Eureka!" startling her so badly she swallows the stamp and starts coughing, Mork telling her to quickly swallow an envelope as a cure! As she recovers from her coughing jag she takes in what he's wearing, his regular clothes gone, replaced by an old ratty shirt, under a pair of ragged denim overalls, unravelling cardigan, and a moth eaten coat, topped off by beat up sneakers and an old army cap. Staring at him she asks him where he got that clothes, and he tells her 'Bowery Brothers, down on Skid Drive'.
Super enthused and proud of himself, he tells her she's going to be so happy, they're not only going to put a wing on the hospital but a thigh too. Moving to the table he upends the army cap, and pours a load of cash, notes and coins into a dish leaving her gasping. Trying to steel herself, she asks him what Earth Concept he's misunderstood this week? But he's adamant he understands perfect, that he's mastered the art of fundraising, before demonstrating, pulling on his army cap shoving out his hand, hunching up and gumming "Give me a dollah!" Aghast that he's bummed all the money, he insists he is an individualized self help fundraiser. Mindy sinks back to her seat feeling a headache coming on, Mork offering to bum her an aspirin "Give me a aspirin!" Groaning she tells him begging isn't the way to collect Money, and definitely feels a headache coming...deflating slightly he sits down trying to tell her what his friend Godfrey said, but the sight of him dressed the way he is is just so humiliating and embarrassing, she really is starting to get a headache. Mork sighs guessing that they won't be able to have dinner at the mission, Mindy staring at him in response. A pity he bemoans, as he'd picked out a nice wine, looking at what he has in a wrinkled paper bag, a Mount Thunder Oiseau. Trying to cheer her up he slides back into his bum persona, telling her "I like you, you're pretty!!"
It doesn't work however, as, a little while later, Mork has assumed the position on the couch, sitting, hunched up, nervously awaiting 'The Mindy Lecture' as she paces slowly back and forth behind him, preparing herself. Nervily querying her, she tells him 'Not yet, Mork' and keeps pacing as he sinks lower. Finally, exhaling she declares she's ready and moves to sit on the arm of the chair overlooking the cringing Orkan, who feels like he's facing Mount St. Mindy's. He doesn't understand what he's done wrong, saying he just wanted to raise money for her hospital. She knows, she says, but not by begging for money at the bus station where all her friends can see him. It wasn't all her friends he insists, just six of them and they only gave him 20 bucks. Horrified that he bummed money off her friends, dressed like that, she wants to crawl under a rock. He argues she was asking for money from her friends, he was just being a bit more creative, and doesn't understand the difference. There's a big difference, she insists, saying she wasn't asking for herself! Neither was he, he retorts! But the people at the bus station didn't know what, she replies, that people assume panhandlers keep the money for themselves. When Mork tries to tell her what 'his mentor' Godfrey said, Mindy straight out tells him Godfrey *is* a bum and Mork sinks back down dramatically to the couch with his 'shattered illusions'. Softening her stance in reaction to his reaction, she tells him she means he begs, and begging 'isn't' exactly in' on Earth, that only derelicts beg. When he provides her with lots of example of how Earthlings beg (for mercy, begging the issue, begging off), she tells him it's not the same thing, to which he replies 'beg your pardon'? When she tells him begging just isn't right, he apologizes for embarrassing her, she's fine though as long as he doesn't do it again, and perhaps takes another look at his Earth Manual, reading it and not just coloring in the pictures.
Mork though tries to undo the damage he's done, by going back to the bus shelter, still in full bum uniform, and trying to give the money away. This makes him look even crazier than before however, until he manages to offload some on the maintenance guy who tells others he's giving away money and they descent, Mork tossing it away to the growing crowd. Something witnessed in horror by a returning Godfrey. Chasing the horde away, Godfrey demands to know what Mork is doing giving away money?! Mork tells him he's heard its better to give than receive, and suggests Godfrey try it, which just about gives him a stroke. Godfrey rails against what Mork has done, feeling let down and disappointed in him after all his efforts to take him under his wing and teach him everything he knows, telling Mork it's people like him who give bums a bad name. Caught between a rock and a hard place in terms of letting people down, Mork heads home.
Back in the apartment and in his own clothes, Mindy can't believe he gave the money back. But he reminds her she says he got it in a socially unacceptable way. She tries to clarify saying that its wrong to beg for money, unless its for a worthy cause in which case its not begging but charity, but ends up confusing herself somewhat. And she's not the only one, Mork utterly bemused, having gotten the money wrong, given it back wrong, Earth he feels is utterly perplexing, feeling its no wonder psychiatrists drive Mercedes. Mindy has to agree, and as a knock comes at the door figures its impossible to stay mad at puppies or Orkans. When Mork opens the door, Godfrey is there. Introducing him to Mindy as his 'financial advisor', Mindy greets him saying she's heard a lot about him. Mork offers him a seat, but he's only there for a minute. Earlier, he tells Mork, he thought Mork was the biggest sucker he ever met in his life, but a little while later he came across a little girl crying because she was lost, and it hit him that money didn't mean anything if he could change that little girl's life, so he made the big sacrifice...and gave her a dime to call her mother. The look on her face made him feel so good he started to think how he'd feel if he could help a lot of kids. Sheepishly he reaches into his coat and pulls out an envelope handing it to Mindy without looking at her. Stunned and thankful she goes to take the donation only to have to get Mork's help to wrest it from Godfrey.
When she opens it, she thanks him for his generosity, his donation leaving her real close to her pledge. Discovering she's still short, he grumbling asks her how much, only 40 she says, and grumbling more to himself about how painful this is, he pulls two twenties from his shoes and gives them to her. Touched, and deeply grateful Mindy calls him wonderful and Mork calls him a 'Born again Bum', Godfrey insisting they don't spread it around, having worked too hard to get where he is. Mork asks him: "can I walk you to the gutter?" as Godfrey goes to leave, but Mindy stops him, trying to delicately ask whether he would ever consider taking on a little responsibility, getting a job, settling down? Getting married, Godfrey nods wistfully, raising kids, putting them college. He looks back at her, and says "I did all that, that's how I got to be a bum!"
Mork's report to Orson is fiscally based, Orson reminding him he's already made a report on money and how humans love to horde it. Yes, Mork agrees but this time he's learned about something called Charity, saying there's a flip side to the coin (snickering to Bebo about his metaphor). He explains the concept to Orson where Earthlings with money help those without it. You may take a loss, but you reap a higher dividend. Orson reminds him he said that a fool and his money are easily parted, that's one Mork agrees, but another goes it is better to give than receive, which is why there is a Thanksgiving day and not a Thanksgetting day. But most of all he says, he learned that the Buck starts, right here, pointing to his heart.
Trivia[]
Orkan 'Facts'[]
On Ork (according to Mork) people who ask for money from others, are considered crazy and end up in a little rubber room.
General[]
The big laugh around Mork sitting on the calculator and it figuring out his weight, stems from a dirty joke 'sit on my face and I'll guess your weight' (judging by the reaction of all three actors possibly a Williams ad-lib, the joke would appear on Williams later album "Weapons of Self-Destruction")
Pam Dawber is clearly trying not to corpse when Robin Williams does his "Give me a dollar!!" bum impression.
"Larry, Proud Aquarius" a member of Mork's Confusions will return in Pajama Game II
Mork's mime performance with the Hippy traveler, is a call back to Robin Williams early days as a street performer.
Pop Culture[]
This episode casts Ross Martin, well known to TV show fans as the always impeccably dressed Artemus Gordon from the 1960's CBS-TV series The Wild Wild West, as derelict Godfrey, in what turned out to be his final sitcom series performance.
Fred's titled the 'Bald Bernstein of Boulder' referring to Leonard Bernstein the leader of the New York Philharmonic and legendary American composer.
Idiot Delight
Mork refers to Fred as 'Boulder Pops' on seeing him in the apartment, a gag based on the orchestral popularity of the 'Boston Pops'
Mork enthuses about the fact Beverly Sills was singing, Sills being American operatic soprano whose peak career was between the 1950s and 1970s, she had retired from professional singing to manage the New York Opera at the time of this episode but was doing benefit/charity concerts, so timely!
The ABSCAM Mork references was an FBI sting operation in the late 1970s and early 1980s that led to the convictions of seven members of the United States Congress, among others for taking bribes from an Arab (Ab) company in return for political favors.
Mork refers to Monty Hall singing 'Bess you is my woman now' from the all black Opera "Porgy & Bess" by Gershwin, in the Telethon he watched with Mindy, Monty Hall the Canadian-American long-running host of Let's Make a Deal
Mork's "Morkathon for Mindy's Kids' is first 'emceed' by his version of Jerry Lewis (who raised vast amounts of money via his telethons for kids with Muscular Dystrophy, who were known as 'Jerry's Kids) and latterly by his version of Lawrence Welk
When Mork is moved to tears by Godfrey, he gives him the only thing he has, a Robert Conrad button. Ross Martin (Godfrey) co-starred with Robert Conrad in "Wild Wild West". He also points out Conrad is very young and doesn't' have a battery on his shoulder yet, joking about Conrad's ongoing Eveready battery commercials.
When Godfrey reveals it was an act, Mork tells him DeNiro move over, and calls Godfrey "Raging Bum", playing on DeNiro's Raging Bull the previous year. DeNiro also being a friend of Robin Williams.
Mindy says she hopes her mail out requests go better than it did for John Anderson. Anderson being the third, and Independent, candidate in the 1980 presidential election, who only ended up with 6.6% of the popular vote.
Mork tells Mindy that he feels like he's facing "Mount St. Mindys" a play on Mount St Helens, the volcano which had erupted explosively months previously causing over a $1 Billion dollars (3.4 billion in current funds) destroying vast swathes of land.
Mindy tells Mork not even The Blob would have done something so embarrassing as he did. Referring to the unthinking creature in the 1958 movie The Blob
Mork tries to offer one lady 'A Fistful of Dollars' in a pun on the Clint Eastwood spaghetti western.
All Mork has left to give Godfrey is a McGovern/Eagleton button the failed 1972 Democratic Presidential Candidacy ticket, which collapsed because of Eagleton's mental health issues, making him the only Vice Presidential candidate to be replaced. The issue largely attributed to be the main reason McGovern's campaign against the incumbent Richard Nixon failed badly.
Quotes/Excerpts[]
Mork: Min, Min Min Min!
Min:*grins* Wha? Wha? Wha? What?
Mork: Why didn't you tell me that you needed money? I mean you can have anything I own, except for my lips because those are rented.
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Mork: Oh! Boy, you're slicker than a Teflon banana peel! Oh, boy, I didn't even know I was had!
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Glenda Faye:*licking envelopes* You know, maybe this would be easier if I'd use a sponge.
Mindy:*sheepish* Oh, sorry, Mork took all our sponges down to the river and set them free.
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Mindy:*sighs* Well, back to work. No rest for the Perky. *tears off stamp and goes to lick it*
Mork:*Mork enters and yells* EUREKA, Mind! *Mindy jumps, starts coughing and hits her chest, Mork moves rapidly to her* Mind, what's wrong?
Mindy: I just swallowed a stamp!!!
Mork: Well, quick, swallow a letter!
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Mindy:*stares at money he's brought* Mork? What Earth concept have you misunderstood this week?!
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Mindy: *aghast* You mean you bummed all this money!!
Mork: Oh no not bummed Min! *with a flourish* It's an art form! Yes! I would have brought home more, except there are holes in my pocket and I had to help out a few friends, get 'em a lil libation!
Mindy:*protests* But that's panhandling!
Mork: No Mind, panhandling is what nurses do in the hospital *Mindy rolls her eyes and sinks to her seat*
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*Mindy is pacing slowly back and forth behind the couch, as Mork sits huddled, awaiting 'the lecture'*
Mork: Mind?
Mindy: *with faux lightness* Not yet, Mork
Mork:*sheepishly* OK, Mind.
Mindy: OK, now I'm ready. Mork?
Mork: Present.
Mindy: I realize that you are a creature from outer space.
Mork: 'Creature's' a little rough, isn't it, Mind?
Mindy:*singsongs* Not at the moment.
Mork: Why do I feel like I'm sitting next to Mt. St. Mindys?
Mindy: Now I realize that you are a creature from outer space, but there are certain things that even The Blob wouldn't do.
Mork: Min, what'd I do wrong? I just wanted to raise money for your hospital.
Mindy: I know, Mork, but begging in the bus station where all my friends could see you!.
Mork: It wasn't all your friends, Mind, it was just six of 'em! Besides, they were only good for $20.
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Godfrey: I can't understand it! I did everything I could for you! I treated you like were my own flesh and blood! I took you out of the house and threw you in the gutter! And I made a bum outta you! Where did I go wrong?!
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Mindy: You gave the money back?!
Mork: Oh Mindy but you said that I got the money in a way that wasn't socially acceptable to middle class mores.
